


Proximity

by HasteinAurelius



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bath Houses, Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, Beginnings, Binge Drinking, But is too stubborn to admit it, Depression, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Good Friend Hange Zoë, Grief/Mourning, Hangover, Levi Needs a Hug (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), Mike tries too, Platonic Relationships, Post-Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Rated T For Levi's Dirty Mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27456955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HasteinAurelius/pseuds/HasteinAurelius
Summary: In which Hange is worried about the sole survivor of Flagon squad. It’s not much, but sometimes the only thing you can do for someone is to be near. Takes place immediately after A Choice with No Regrets.
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi & Mike Zacharias, Mike Zacharias & Hange Zoë
Comments: 20
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This references a couple scenes from the manga that weren’t animated, such as Hange talking with the Levi & his crew when the expedition stopped for the night and Levi saving a guy on the training course. If you haven't read it, Mangadex has it along with all the fun bonus chapters. 
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc are property of Isayama Hajime. I’m just a fan having a little fun speculating on what might happen right after an OVA.

“Hange, I have a favor to ask,” Erwin stated, riding up beside her horse as the survivors of the expedition neared wall Maria. “I hear you spoke with the newest recruits?”

“Yes, sir, fascinating people, first time I met anyone from the underground,” she replied to the blonde officer. “I was already planning to check on him, if that’s the favor you want,” she continued while glancing over to where a small figure rode with his head bowed and his shoulders slumped. “Damned rough, losing his entire squad the first time out.”

“Rough, yes.” Erwin paused a moment before continuing, “On their enlistment papers, all three of our new recruits listed the other two as their next of kin.”

“Oh fuck,” Hange stated flatly, low enough that Erwin could barely hear her over the sound of hooves. ”Fuck, Erwin, I could tell they were close, but I didn’t think they were related.”

“I’m not sure it’s a blood kinship. In the time I spent observing them before the capture operation, it seemed the two deceased were the criminal equivalent of executive officers in the gang Levi commanded.”

“That’s still pretty close. Also explains all the rumors I heard about them having problems with authority. And here I thought it was just because they didn’t go through the training corps. Shit. So, was he really a 4th generation crime lord down there, sir”?

Erwin shrugged. “Most of the rumors flying around about him are just that, rumors. Unfortunately, those are enough to make most of our comrades distrustful or nervous around him.”

“And enough to make me curious, which is why you’re asking me,” Hange said with a small smile. “Too bad he doesn’t seem like the talkative sort. Maybe a few rounds at the Itchy Harness'll loosen him up,” she speculated, referring to a pub near the barracks that was popular with soldiers.

“Thanks, Hange,” Erwin said while returning her smile. “If I can pull myself away from meetings with Keith and writing reports, I’ll try to stop by.” He didn’t have to tell her how slim the odds were that he’d have any free time over the next few days.

* * *

  
Working quickly, Hange removed the saddle and tack from her gelding and hung it from the pegs in his stall before rubbing his nose and feeding him a carrot. “There’s your treat for carrying me home again, Brutus. Such a good horse. Such a pretty horse. Yes, pretty boy Brutus,” she told him while giving his nose another rub before exiting the stall.

“Hey, Mike!”, she called while waving at her friend who was exiting a nearby stall. “Come give me a hand and I’ll buy you a drink!”

“You got my attention,” he said while walking up to her. “What’s up?”

“Something a steady guy like you’s good at. Come along, you’ll see,” she replied while leading the way to another stall where they could see that Levi was currying his horse.

“You know, the stable hands’ll take care of that for you,” Hange informed Levi with a broad smile while resting her elbows on top of the stall door. Levi shrugged and continued brushing his mare, who nickered happily. “I think she likes you, Levi. What’s her name?”

“Nobody told me she has one,” Levi replied.

“Oh, you get to decide the name when you’re issued a new horse.”

“Nobody told me that, either.”

“So?” Hange probed.

“So?” Levi flatly returned, wondering how to get the overly curious brunette to leave him alone with his horse and his grief.

“So, what are you gonna call her?”

“Give the man a minute, Hange,” Mike finally spoke up from where he was leaning casually against the outside of the stall. “Good names usually take time.”

“Magnolia,” Levi quietly stated while brushing the last of the dried mud out of her coat.

“That’s a great name,” Hange announced, recognizing Isabel’s last name. “Don’t you think so, Mike?”

“Hmm.” He nodded, also recognizing it.

“Here, try giving Magnolia one of these,” Hange offered, stepping into the stall and holding out a large carrot. “My Brutus loves them.” Raising an eyebrow, Levi reluctantly took the offered carrot while Magnolia excitedly nickered behind him.

Levi watched dispassionately as she eagerly devoured the treat. _At least one of us is having a good time_ , he thought as Magnolia happily nuzzled his face.

“Aww, look, she loves him,” Hange announced, loudly enough that Levi was sure everyone in the stables heard. Her exuberance was really starting to wear on Levi’s nerves. He considered insulting her, but was feeling too tired to care enough to come up with anything good, so he settled for sighing into his horse’s coat and hoping his visitors would go away. “So, Levi…”

“Why are you two here?” he interrupted gruffly.

“To help you,” Hange replied truthfully.

“Tch. Why would you want to do some stupid shit like that? You don’t even know me, what’s your angle?” Levi narrowed his eyes distrustfully.

“You’re one of us, a scout, and hurt. That’s all the angle I need,” she answered, continuing to smile at Levi.

“Hmph. Taking pity on the underworld trash now? I heard the whispers, how me and my friends were talked about.”

“I heard those whispers too, and you’ll remember I came over to find out for myself. I only spoke with you three for a few minutes, but I definitely wasn’t talking with trash. And those weren’t the only whispers. I also heard about that guy you saved on the training course, and about how you took a minute to help a young recruit who was having trouble with his ODM gear. And I talked with Isabel’s bunkmate, those two spent a lot of time talking, and she told me how you saved Isabel and even about that time the three of you helped an injured bird. Trash doesn’t do things like that.”

_No, trash just gets his only friends killed_ , Levi thought. “Think what you want, I still don’t need any damn pity.”

“It’s not pity. We’ve both lost friends outside the wall before, we know how it feels.”

“Doubtful.” _If I hadn’t rode off on my own, left them alone for five damn minutes…_

“Hey,” Mike said, turning from where he’d been leaning so he could look Levi in the eyes. “One of the best friends I ever had died in a titan’s mouth, while I was cutting the damn thing’s nape. Thought I’d saved her, then swung around and saw her bottom half falling out of its mouth. They had to throw me in a wagon with the wounded and I fucking bawled all the way back to the wall about how I’d been five seconds too slow.”

“I remember that,” Hange recalled.

“You’re probably feeling guilty, blaming yourself,” Mike continued. “I did. Fucking hated myself, eventually got so bad, Erwin had to talk me down from offing myself. Don’t care where you’re from, I don’t want to see anyone else get that way. So come have some drinks with us. It’ll help.”

“So, what, you’re gonna drag me somewhere fun, say ‘cheer up, slum rat’ and magically make everything alright?” Levi spat, dripping sarcasm.

“If only,” Hange stated with a shake of her head. “You’re wounded Levi, but it’s not something we can stitch up and slap a poultice on. It’s more like a broken bone; we can set and splint it but we can’t just fix it, healing takes time. We see this sort of thing from time to time in the Survey Corps. You’ll heal up faster with someone to lean on.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, you will be, and Mike and me are gonna help. So let’s go hit a pub! I promised to buy you a meal when we got back, remember?”

“You said if we all make it back. Besides, I’m too fucking filthy to go anywhere,” Levi said while gesturing at his mud encrusted uniform, “and you two aren’t much better.”

“You like cleanness, huh?” Mike asked.

“What of it?”

“Just an observation. You and Church had the cleanest corner of the barracks and the three of you always smelled cleaner than anyone else in the corps.”

“We what?” Levi asked, taken aback by the odd compliment.

“Mike’s got a really good nose,” Hange explained.

“So, how’d you like to clean that mess off you with something better than a bucket of water and cheap military issue soap? Mike asked.

“Better how?” Levi asked, intrigued despite himself. The military soap was better than what he could usually get underground and he had considered the apparently endless supply to be the best part of military life.

“Are you suggesting what I think you are?” Hange asked excitedly.

“Yeah. High quality soap and all the hot water you want."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end was inspired by one of the bonus chapters from the manga where Farlan is telling Isabel how he met Levi and she laughs at him and says he should have tried luring big bro with a broom instead. Next chapter, everyone’s favorite clean freak makes his first trip to the public baths. 


	2. Chapter 2

Levi found himself wondering once again what the hell he was doing walking down the street flanked by a pair of fucking weirdos. _That soap better be damn good._ he thought with a sigh.

On one side, a tall, gangly woman with glasses and a near constant smile was rambling on about anything and everything while Levi only half listened. Currently she was going on about a bakery they had passed and how their donuts compared to those from a bakery they had passed several blocks back. On the previous street she had talked about the public school they had passed. Two streets before that, she had actually managed to get Levi’s full attention when they walked past a small tea shop. He had even managed to ask Hange a few questions about the types of tea blends they sold. He mostly didn’t care what she was talking about, but did appreciate having a distraction from his own thoughts, and had no intention of ever admitting it.

On his other side walked a mostly silent mountain of a man, who Levi had previously believed to be Erwin’s dumb muscle. Levi had known plenty of that type in the underworld, even employing a few in his gang, though he had to admit that Mike fought with more speed and skill than normal for his type. Now he knew that the big guy was intelligent and dangerously perceptive as well.

Levi had been trained at a young age to hide his emotions, but somehow Mike was seeing through his carefully schooled poker face. Several times on the walk, Hange’s rambles had turned to titans, or questions about Levi’s past, and each time Mike had scrunched up his big nose like he’d just stepped in a steaming pile of shit, then changed the subject. Levi thought it a coincidence at first, he was holding his expression and body language at ‘dangerous and mildly annoyed’ like normal and knew that was hard to read, but somehow Mike could tell when the mostly one-sided conversation was starting to get upsetting and steered it to another topic. Levi was somewhat frustrated, but mostly determined to figure out what tell he was giving off so he could eliminate it.

* * *

“Here it is!” Hange announced a few blocks later, pointing to a large building with a sign saying “Shiganshina Suds” on the front of its ornate facade.

“Looks like somewhere fancy assholes hang out,” Levi grumped, glaring at the building like it had insulted him.

“Nah, the fancy asshole bathhouse’s downtown,” Hange replied without missing a beat or letting her grin slip. “Us normal assholes only get paid enough to go places like this.”

“Still looks expensive.” Levi had not spent much of the pay he’d received so far, only buying a replacement for the knife he’d lost during his arrest, along with a few cravats, but that hadn’t left much in his pocket and he tended to be frugal by nature.

“Don’t worry, it’s on me,” Mike offered. He wrinkled his nose again as Levi turned his suspicious gaze on him. “No, I’m not expecting anything in return. We’re just going to take care of you tonight, no strings attached.”

Levi scowled. Fuck, how does he keep doing that? “Fine, but that fucking soap better be as good as you said.”

“Hey Mike, are you going to pay for my bath too?” Hange asked, giving him her best puppy dog eyes as the trio walked in the door.

“Depends. Are you paying for all my drinks tonight, or just the first round?”

“Guess not,” she laughed as they approached the front counter.

Levi raised an eyebrow when he saw how much Mike paid. “This is just a place to take a bath, right? You didn’t just drag me into a… brothel or some shit like that?” he asked as they walked away from the counter.

“Nah, nothing like that,” Hange assured him. “This’s a classy joint. But if that would help, we can go visit one after dinner.”

“No,” Levi ground out, his jaw tight from the unwelcome suggestion.

Hange gave him a knowing grin. “Ah, you’re one of those guys who takes pride in never having to pay to get laid! I bet we can find you a nice girl at the pub.”

“Not fucking interested,” Levi growled.

Hange shrugged. “If that’s not what you’re into, I can help you find a nice guy instead.”

“Not fucking interested,” Levi repeated.

“We’ll find you someone next week, then,” Hange offered. “Now you boys have fun!” That said, she disappeared with a wave behind a door labeled ‘women’.

“She always like that?” Levi asked while following Mike into the men’s changing room where there were several wooden benches and the walls were lined with metal lockers. A small adjoining room held several chamber pots with small dividers around them to give a measure of privacy, as well as a few wash basins. A bath attendant was mopping the floor in one corner of the room.

Mike chuckled. “She doesn’t hesitate to say what’s on her mind, no. But she’s also a surprisingly decent wingman if you take her up on her offer. Good soldier to have watching your back, too.” He then handed Levi a small padlock and a thin brass chain with a key and two colored tabs on it, then opened a locker, showing that it had several hooks on the sides as well as a shelf. Mike then dumped the contents of the small cloth bag he was carrying onto the shelf. “Easier this way, I can stuff the dirty stuff in the bag and not have to mess with it til we’re back at the barracks.”

 _Makes sense_ Levi thought with a shrug before following suit at a nearby locker and then beginning to peel off his filthy uniform. A small sigh of relief escaped as he loosened the straps of his ODM harness.

“Yeah, that’s about right,” Mike agreed with a chuckle as he removed his own harness. “Never fun when we have to wear these things for days on end.”

“Oi, why the hell’s the floor warm?” Levi had been expecting the stone floor to be cold when he removed his boots.

“Same reason it’s kinda expensive to get in,” Mike explained while unbuttoning his shirt. “Big furnace in the basement burns coal all day and blows hot air under the floors. Keeps the air warm, too.”

“Huh.” And this’s where normal assholes go? Levi winced in disgust when he noticed that some of the mud had soaked through his uniform, then felt the hollow feeling in his chest get a bit heavier when he noticed bloodstains on his shirt. _Wonder who that’s from?_ After shoving the last of his filthy clothes into his bag, he locked the locker and slipped the brass chain with the key around his neck. “What’s with the tags?”

“One means you get beer and the other means you get a massage,” Mike answered while leading the way into the next room. Following, Levi noticed that like himself, Mike bore the tell-tale bruising that ODM straps left after changing direction repeatedly at high speed. Both men also bore a large collection of scars and not an ounce of fat.

In the next room there were several copper tubs, each with a pair of pipes on one end with hand pumps on them. When Levi saw what was on the wall they had entered the room through, his eyes widened and his jaw grew slack. “Holy fucking shit…” he breathed, awed.

Levi had never seen so much soap in one place before. Most of the wall was covered by shelving, with regularly spaced vertical dividers and labels telling what each of the different piles of soap were. Another shelf was loaded with clean wash rags. Not a stain was visible on any of them and, just like the lobby and changing room before, the entire room was immaculately clean. Levi almost smiled when he ran a hand under a shelf and found no dust.

“Pick whichever you want,” Mike offered while grabbing a bar and rag. Levi had never heard of most of the scents, herbs, or oils listed on the labels, so simply chose at random rather than admit ignorance again.

“Right, I’ll show you how the pumps work. That furnace in the basement keeps a big water tank hot, the right pump draws from that. The left draws cold water, and you can pull that plug in the bottom to drain it if the water gets too cold or dirty. Use as much as you want.” He then stepped into one of the unoccupied tubs and began working the pumps.

Levi claimed the next tub over and began filling it. He started out giving the hot handle two pumps for every time he pumped the cold handle, like he saw Mike doing, then decided he wanted it hotter and began giving a third pump of hot water per one of cold. As soon as the water was deep enough, he sat down and began methodically scrubbing himself. Meanwhile, the bath attendant was mopping up the muddy footprints they had left.

The tub was emptied and refilled twice more before Levi was satisfied with the condition of his hair and skin. He then drained the tub again before filling it back with mostly hot water, then leaned back against the tub and closed his eyes. “Sir?” a voice interrupted from the side. Opening his eyes, he saw a bath attendant offering him a large stein.  
_Beer and a bath, huh?_ I could get used to this shit. He mused as he accepted the stein and took a drink of the warm dark beer inside. _Be perfect if it was tea instead._

Closing his eyes again, he relaxed as he slowly drank more of his beer. “Oi, you were right, Farlan. It’s fucking nice up here.” Levi’s eyes shot open when he realized what he’d just said, then he dropped his beer. “Fuck.”

“Its alright, takes time to get used to someone not being there anymore,” Mike reassured him as the attendant began mopping up the spill. “That’s a normal reaction.”

Levi, meanwhile, clenched his fists and glared at the empty tub on his other side as if he blamed it for not containing his friend, quietly muttering “fuck” repeatedly like a mantra. After a few minutes of this, the pressure he felt behind his eyes receded, the ball of ice in the pit of his stomach became a bit more bearable, and he relaxed his hands, spitting out one more tired “fuck”.

“Hey,” Mike called when he saw Levi had calmed down. “That just means he’s important. It’s natural, reaching out for people like that without thinking. You’re gonna do that from time to time while you’re healing, it’s normal.”

“How the fuck you know this shit?”

“Read a book about it once.”

“Huh. You don’t really look the type.”

“Yeah." Mike grinned. "All my life people underestimated me because of my size. But that just makes them easier to beat, right?”

Levi nodded, having been underestimated more times than he could count. “Easy and satisfying.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Mike said before throwing back the rest of his beer. “Ready to see the next part?” Nodding, Levi pulled the plug in his tub and followed Mike to one of several doors in the bathing room, which had a shelf of towels outside it.

On the other side of the door they found themselves in a swelteringly hot room with wood paneled walls, one of which had two tiers of wooden benches. In the center of the room was a large wood stove with rocks piled over it, flanked by a stack of firewood and a large basin of water. Mike took a ladle from the basin and poured several scoops of water over the hot rocks, filling the air with steam.

“The fuck?”

“Steam bath” Mike explained before setting his towel on one of the higher benches and sitting on it.

Levi followed suit while grumbling, “Just got clean and I’m already sweating, what kind of fucked up bath did you drag me to?”

“It’s good for you, cleans your pores from the inside out. Relaxing too. We wash the sweat off after.”

“No bullshit?” Levi was disturbed by the idea that there was part of his body that he hadn’t been cleaning.

“No bullshit.”

“Why not do the sweaty shit first?”

“They don’t want people tracking dirt in here.” Levi found that to be a very good rule, so sat back on his bench and relaxed. The two then sweated in silence for several long minutes as other bathers came and went from the room, with Mike occasionally getting up to pour more water over the rocks.

Eventually, Mike decided they had sweated enough, so quietly led the way back to the bathing room where the two men washed the sweat off. Levi did not mind needing to soap up again.

After draining their tubs again, Mike led the way to another door that had a shelf of towels next to it. Following his lead, Levi toweled off and entered a room where there were several tables with attendants standing next to them, some of who were currently massaging other bathers. Each table also had a small brazier next to it, with a covered basket suspended above it. “Fair warning, they’ll pop your back if you don’t tell them not to. Feels good, but not everyone agrees with me,” Mike stated before claiming the nearest table.

Not sure what to expect, Levi walked to the next table while glaring at everyone else in the room, then laid facedown on it like Mike had done, noting that the table had a hole for his face to hang through. The attendant pulled a warmed sheet from the basket and draped it over Levi, then began working on his shoulders. _Alright, this shit isn’t so bad._

His neck, shoulders and back were feeling loose when the attendant instructed, “Take a deep breath, sir.”

“Tch, why?” At that moment, a horrifically loud cracking noise came from Mike’s table. Alarmed, Levi looked over and saw the other attendant pushing down hard in the center of Mike’s back as the terrible cracking sound repeated.

“First time, sir? I assure you, it feels better than it sounds,” his attendant promised.

“Skip that shit,” Levi instructed. The sounds that Mike’s back kept making reminded him too much of the sounds he had heard while snapping necks.

“Very well, sir, I’ll stick to fixing muscles.”

Mike was on the brink of dozing off when a shout of “Oi, what the fuck!?” snapped him fully awake. Looking to the side, he saw Levi standing on the opposite side of the table from his attendant, pointing an accusing finger. “What the fuck’d you grab my ass for!?”

“It’s a muscle, Levi,” Mike explained while choking down laughter. “Biggest in the body and balancing on ODM gear works it really damn hard. That’s why all the ladies love scouts, but between that and bouncing around in a saddle, gets pretty fucking sore after an expedition.”

“I can skip the glutes if you’re uncomfortable, sir,” the attendant offered. “This isn’t that type of massage parlor, I’d be working on the ladies’ side if it was.”

“Tch, fine. Skip the ass. And skip that elbow shit,” Levi ordered, pointing to where the other attendant had an elbow planted in the center of one of Mike’s hamstrings and was leaning in hard. “Hell, skip that part of me too.”

Some time later they exited the massage room and Mike led the way to yet another room leading off from the bathing room. “Last one,” Mike said as they entered a room with two large pools set in the floor. “First jump in one, then when you’re ready jump in the other,” he instructed before leaping in and diving under the surface.

“The fuck’s the point?” Levi asked, glaring suspiciously at the pools.

“it’s healthy,” Mike gasped out before ducking under the waist-deep water again.

Levi considered the pools for a moment more before jumping in. “The fuck!? This shit’s cold!”

“Yeah, other one’s hot.” Levi wasted no time scrambling out and jumping in the hot pool. Mike dunked himself once more before joining him, while an attendant brought them a pair of steins.

“Why the hell would you jump in cold shit?” Levi asked before taking a drink of his beer.

“It’s healthy.”

“Bullshit.”

“Its why I hardly ever get sick.”

“Bullshit. I hardly ever get sick, and never do shit like that,” Levi retorted with a skeptical glare.

Mike shrugged and took a sip of beer. “Works for me.”

After finishing their beers, they climbed out of the pool and exited the room. Each then grabbed a towel before returning to the changing room, where they dried off and dressed. Having been told they would be off duty and out of uniform, Levi had brought the one civilian outfit he currently owned, which he had been arrested in, along with a clean cravat. He had not seen anyone on the surface following the underworld gang fashion of popped collars, and so kept his down. After slipping his knife into his right boot, Levi cursed when he realized he had left his comb at the barracks.

“Here, you can use mine,” Mike offered, holding out a carved wooden comb. He was wearing tan slacks with a battered pair of brown shoes. After handing over the comb, he pulled on a plain white shirt and began buttoning it up.

* * *

Sitting in the lobby with a newspaper and a mostly finished beer, Hange smiled when she saw the tallest and shortest men in the Survey Corps exit the changing room. The 36 centimeter difference between the two was particularly apparent when they were standing next to each other and made her chuckle a bit before she finished her beer and stood to join them. She was dressed in a plain white shirt, loose black trousers, and short black boots. Her hair was messy as always, but no longer caked with mud. “You boys clean up well,” she declared after jokingly letting loose with a wolf whistle. “So? How’d you like it?”

Levi shrugged nonchalantly. “it’s not bad.”

“I knew you’d love it,” she replied, pleased to see he looked far less murderous and tense looking than he had been at the stables. Hange sniffed and raised an eyebrow. "Interesting soap choice. Most guys aren't confident enough to go around smelling like lilac."

"The hell's lilac? Fuck. You're saying I should've picked a different soap."

"Don't worry, if anyone makes fun of you, we'll kick their ass," Hange promised with a dangerous gleam in her eye. "Maybe a good bar brawl'll help you."

"Can we try to not get thrown in the brig tonight?" Mike requested as they left the bathhouse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bathhouse is very loosely based on Roman thermae, with a few tweaks to fit the period. I gave them hand pumps like seen in the Yeager home instead of having water hauled in buckets and gave them actual soap instead of oil and strigils. They really did have hypocausts heating the floors back then, and some of them had steam rooms. But I couldn’t find many details on Roman steam rooms, so I shoved a Finnish one in there instead. And yeah, they have to drink warm beer. There’s no refrigerators and only one mountain that they might be able to get ice from, way in the interior. 
> 
> So, does this chapter count as fan service, since Levi & Mike spent most of the chapter walking around nude? In any case, feedback is welcome as always.


	3. Chapter 3

“Shots!” Hange announced as she shoved her way through the doors of the Itchy Harness pub.

“Food first,” Mike insisted as he and Levi followed their boisterous companion inside.

“Fine. Brats, then shots,” Hange conceded as she made her way to the bar. “Also beer and more shots. And then more shots.”

Mike sighed. “I’m going to have to carry you back to barracks again, aren’t I?”

“Fine, I’ll buy the first two rounds, if you’re going to be such a giant baby about it,” Hange conceded. She then turned to Levi and gestured to an empty bar stool. “You’re gonna like this, much better than barracks food.” He took the offered stool, then Hange and Mike seated themselves on stools to either side as she continued, “We can even afford a bit of meat here.”

“Hey, Hange, Mike, welcome back,” the bartender, a slender, greying blond man with a large scar across his face and a hook in place of his right hand greeted them. “Who’s your new friend?”

Hange made the introductions, “Hans, meet our newest scout Levi, fresh back from outside the wall.”

“Good on you for surviving,” Hans said while thumping a shotglass full of clear liquor on the bar in front of Levi. “This one’s on the house!”

“Why?” Levi asked, narrowing his eyes at the bartender.

“I give rookies a free shot because I was a scout, back before a titan mauled me too bad to be any use out there,” Hans explained, waving his hook for emphasis. Levi threw back the shot and refused to show any reaction as the rough vodka burned its way down his throat. “Good man,” Hans said approvingly. “Now, what can I get you three?” he asked with a broad smile.

“Start us with a round of beers and trays of whatever you have for dinner tonight,” Hange requested. She then grabbed a pretzel from a bowl sitting on the bar and popped it into her mouth as the bartender limped away to fill their order.

“How long have those been sitting there?” Levi asked.

“Dunno,” Hange replied before crunching down another. “Probably not more than a day, they aren’t going stale yet.” Levi’s brows furrowed as he tried to hide his revulsion. "Here, try one,” Hange offered, sliding the bowl over to where Levi and Mike could easily reach it.

“Get that shit away from me.” Levi shoved the bowl back. “You don’t know who’s had their filthy hands all over those.”

Mike chuckled as the first round of beers was sat down before them. “He’s got a point.”

“I’ve never gotten sick from bar pretzels yet,” Hange claimed before eating another and taking a drink from the large tankard of beer in front of her. “Probably because I dump enough alcohol down my throat to sterilize them.”

Levi hid his revulsion by taking a long pull from his tankard. The beer didn’t seem to have much more flavor than the vodka, but he was tired and he wasn’t paying for it, so he didn’t bother to complain.

“Hans’ brother runs the brewery this comes from.” Hange explained after taking another drink. Their family’s run both places for generations.” Hange continued to explain the history of the bar to her indifferent audience as Hans came back from the kitchen carrying a large tray with three plates on it, which he placed on the bar before the three scouts.

Each plate held a bratwurst, a steamed potato, a thick slice of coarse bread with a lump of butter, and a generous scoop of sauerkraut. This temporarily silenced the one-sided conversion. The always tight budget of the Survey Corps meant that scouts were generally only able to eat meat when they spent their own wages on it, so even the cheap, greasy sausages before them were something to take their time and savor.

Levi, for his part, had never had such a large serving of food in front of him before. Even when his gang was flush with cash from a successful caper, he had always taken care of Isabel and Farlan before himself, and so rarely had anything more substantial than a single potato for a meal before coming to the surface. Meals in the Survey Corps, while larger than he was used to, were still quite a bit smaller than the repast before him. His first impulse was to dive in, but a lifelong habit of hiding any potential weakness made him take his time and slowly tuck into his meal instead.

Hange swallowed the last bite of her brat and then started to use her sleeve to wipe some grease that had dribbled down her chin, but Levi reflexively caught her arm. “That shit’ll stain your shirt, don’t you have a handkerchief?”

“Not with me, no,” she replied, surprised.

In response, he pulled out one of his and held it out to her. “Tch, have some fucking manners.” He then cast his eyes down, remembering one of the many times he’d saved Isabel’s sleeves from a similar mess.

Hange accepted his offer. “Uh, thanks, I guess.” He grunted and shoveled a forkful of kraut into his mouth, not trusting his voice at the moment. He then waved her off when she offered it back. He had several more clean ones in his pockets and was sure she’d need it again. Meanwhile, Mike smiled silently at the exchange while chewing a bite of bread. The trio then continued to clear their plates in silence.

“Hey Hans,” Hange called when she saw the plates were all empty, “we need two rounds of shots, on me, and another round of beers on Mike. And put the first round and Levi’s dinner on my tab.”

“Coming up,” he promised while clearing away their plates. He then set six shotglasses in a row and turned to retrieve a bottle.

“This’s an old scout tradition,” Mike explained. ”Tomorrow’s the formal memorial with speeches, but tonight’s the important part, toasting to the memories of the fallen. One shot for each of them.”

“You don’t have to actually say it out loud,” Hange clarified. “Some people, it helps to say out loud something about a friend before you drink the shot for them, but not everyone does it like that. It’s up to you.”

Levi let out a shaky breath and lifted his first glass with a steady hand. _I’m sorry, brat_ , he thought, as Hange and Mike raised their glasses and waited in silence, _it’s all my fault_. He stared into the liquor for a long moment, seeing green eyes clouded by death staring back, before he gulped it down and picked up the other shot. His drinking partners moved in sync with him, feeling the first shot burn down their throats as they held up the second one and waited as Levi sat unmoving, eyes closed. _So fucking sorry_ he thought before taking the second shot, and then the three chased the shots with a long drink from their refilled beers.

* * *

“I was thinking,” Hange announced several hours and beers later.

“Don’t do that too hard, you might strain something,” Levi muttered into his beer, causing Mike to guffaw.

“No, seriously,” Hange insisted. “I hacked a titans head off yesterday.”

“That’s always fun,” Mike interrupted. Both men had been slowly growing more talkative as they became more intoxicated.

“Right, but then I kicked it, because fuck those stupid looking fuckers, am I right?”

“Right, ”Mike agreed.

“Yeah, fuck them,” Levi added. He was currently feeling warm, numb, and distant from everything, but never too distant to hate titans.

“So I kicked it, but it felt wrong.” She gestured with her mug, sloshing beer across the bar and almost splashing Levi. “Wasn’t _heavy_ enough, see? Damn thing went flying like it hardly weighed nothing!” She drained her mug and waved Hans over for another round. “So anyway, I thought how we hardly know anything about them. And I get to thinking, maybe we could kill them better if we knew more about them?”

“S’pose that makes sense,” Mike agreed. "Might be tricky to figure out something when it’s trying to eat you, though.”

“When I wanted to make a move against another gang,” Levi began, “we’d spend _days_ watching em before even thinking about making a move and we’d write down every little bit of info we could get. Then I’d make tea and go over our notes with Farlan and… and shit…” Levi then drained his tankard and waved the bartender over for another.

“Yeah, I see what you’re saying,” Hange told him. “If I can get other scouts to start writing down observations after missions, might find something useful. Like new behavior patterns or something… Hey, you got a good head on your shoulders, anyone ever tell you that?” she asked while thumping him on the back, nearly making him choke on his beer.

“Hey, I’m gonna take your four-eyed head _off_ your shoulders if you do that again, anyone ever tell you that?” he replied, causing her to laugh uproariously and call for a celebratory round of shots.

* * *

“Come on, tryyy one,” Hange drunkenly coaxed Levi three beers and a shot later. “They’re gooood!” she insisted while waving a pretzel in his face.

“Fuck off.” He tried to shove her arm away, then blinked in confusion when he somehow missed.

“Heeeere comes the birdy!” she sang, waving around the offending pretzel erratically while Mike tried to choke down laughter.

“Fuck. Off. Keep that filth encrusted… shit away from me.”

“Open wiiide,” she continued, poking him in the cheek with the pretzel.

“Back the fuck off before I shove those shitty pretzels up your ass,” Levi growled.

“That’s… kinda kinky, Levi.” Hange observed, amused.

“Fucking hell, I don’t mean happy ass stuff, I mean… angry ass stuff,” he attempted to clarify, causing Mike to choke on his beer.

“Wow, Levi, you get wild when you’re wasted.” Hange was grinning widely over this discovery. “Didn’t think you’d be into that sort of thing.”

“Fuck you, you know what I mean.” He shook his head, then grabbed the bar for balance after almost knocking himself off his barstool.

“Yup, angry ass stuff. Wow.”

“Fuck you.”

“Angrily up the ass? With pretzels?”

“Goddamn it, you and your shitty fucking glasses, you know what I mean.”

“That you like asses? Angrily?”

“No!”

“An~gry ass stuff!” Hange sang out before accidentally falling off her stool.

“Serves you fucking right…” Levi muttered into his beer while holding tightly to the bar with his other hand, nearly following her down as he shakily took another drink.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be the last round,” Mike told the bartender, grinning as a wobbly Levi clung to the bar and Hange unsuccessfully tried to pull herself back up the stool, causing it to fall atop her.

“Angry… asses…” Hange chortled.

* * *

“You two better fucking appreciate this, “Mike muttered as he staggered toward the front gate of the Survey Corps barracks complex.

Over one shoulder he carried Hange, who had been singing off-key marching cadences ever since they left the bar. Over the other shoulder he carried Levi, who periodically muttered variations on “fucking shut up, four eyes”, and also occasionally laughed at particularly vulgar verses. On two occasions when she repeated ones he’d previously laughed at he had even attempted to join in, badly, much to Hange’s delight.

“Hey, Mike,” one of the gate guards called out with a wave. “Busy night?”

“Heeeeeyyyy MPs, where are you going?” Hange loudly belted out.

“Yeah, you might say that,” Mike answered with a sheepish smile.

Levi chose that moment to join Hange on the next verse, “Get off your buddy and follow me, I’m a Survey Corps killing machine!” Both scouts on sentry duty burst out laughing at this as Mike staggered past them.

“So I gave her inches one, she said, honey this is fun!” Hange continued as Levi laughed and Mike headed for the mess hall.

“Would you two shut up already?” Mike grumbled, contemplating dropping them off directly at their bunks instead of making them drink water first.


	4. Chapter 4

“Lemmie lone,” Hange muttered sleepily to whoever was shaking her. ”Mm still sleepy...”

“Hey, you need to get up,” an oddly familiar voice called quietly as the shaking continued.

“Head hurts, go way,” Hange insisted stubbornly.

“I’ll help you with that, you just gotta get up first,” the voice persisted.

Hange tried opening her eyes, then promptly shut them. “Why’s it so bright?”

“Because you drank too much last night.”

“Oh, okay.” Hange opened her eyes more carefully, then squinted at the blurry face hovering over her. “Hey, Nanaba. Why’s my butt cold?”

“Because you’re laying on the bathroom floor, curled around a chamber pot, with your pants around your ankles.”

“That makes sense.” Hange closed her eyes again. “Just gimme five more minutes.”

“Are you still drunk?”

“Just got a little buzz and a huge hangover. Lemmie sleep it off, I’ll be fine…”

“Get a little breakfast and a lot of tea in you and you’ll be feeling better. I’m not leaving you here.”

“Fine, mom,” Hange sarcastically grumbled as she struggled to her feet with Nanaba’s help.

“Help me out here, I can’t hold you up and pull your pants up at the same time.”

“Right, pants,” Hange muttered as she reached down for them. “Can’t go to breakfast without pants.” That done, she staggered back to her bunk with an arm across Nanaba’s shoulders for support and retrieved a pair of glasses from her footlocker. After a brief search, they found both of Hange’s boots and then began their slow and unsteady journey to the mess hall.

“How much did you drink? You and what’s his name, the criminal guy, were really messed up when Mike brought you back.”

“Hey, be nice to Levi,” Hange protested, “he’s had a rough time up here.”

“Didn’t mean anything by it, just couldn’t remember your singing partners name.”

“My what?” Hange asked, certain that she’d heard wrong.

“Singing partner. I was standing sentry outside our barracks when Mike walked up, carrying the pair of you. And both of you were singing at the tops of your lungs and laughing your asses off, while poor Mike was trying to get you two to shut up.”

“Huh. Wish I could remember that. Was he any good?”

“You both stank. I think you were trying to make new verses for the inch song, but none of the verses made sense or were in order. It was like you two were taking turns singing out ‘I gave her inches’ followed by random numbers and vaguely vulgar drunken gibberish.”

“Now I really wish I could remember,” Hange lamented as they walked into the mess hall. “That sounds amazing.”

“No, it really wasn’t. Hey, look who’s here.”

Following Nanaba’s gaze, Hange spotted Levi slumped over facedown at a table by himself, apparently asleep, with a teapot and single tea cup sitting next to his head. He was wearing his trousers from the night before, along with a sleeveless undershirt and a single sock. “Well alright, Levi saved us some seats,” she declared happily.

As usual the morning after an expedition the mess hall was nearly deserted, since soldiers who didn’t have sentry duty would not be required to carry out any duties until the evening memorial service. Many of the few scouts present appeared to be nursing hangovers, while the rest were considerate enough to eat and chat quietly. “Huh, I don’t see Mike, wonder how he got here?” she asked as they approached the table. “And where’d he leave his boots?”

“How about I leave you here to investigate that mystery while I go grab us some chow?” Nanaba offered as she eased Hange into a chair next to Levi.

“You’re the best, Nanaba,” Hange replied, leaning on the table. “Get something for our new pal too, would you?” The tall blonde chuckled and nodded before walking off to the chow line.

Hange could tell by the thick layer of tea leaves in the bottom of his cup that whoever had brewed it hadn’t used a strainer. Grabbing the teapot and finding it cold and empty, Hange raised an eyebrow. “Been here a while, huh?” she muttered quietly. She then picked the cup up and shook the leaves out, causing them to land on the table with a wet splat. Levi mumbled unintelligibly at the sound, but showed no other sign of waking as the curious brunette beside him experimentally poked a finger into the wad of damp leaves, finding them cold all the way through.

“Well?” Nanaba asked while taking the chair on Hange’s other side. She had brought a tray that was loaded with three bowls of a simple porridge, a pair of teacups, and four steaming teapots.

“Kitchen staff always uses strainers,” Hange stated, holding up a pinch of damp leaves. “I think he came here before dawn and helped himself, somehow.”

“As wasted as he was? That’s kinda impressive.”

Levi’s eyes finally cracked open after Hange refilled his cup and placed it before his face. He narrowed his eyes at the suspiciously convenient and delicious smelling cup of _tea that was steaming away in front of him. The hell am I? Where the fuck did this come from?_ He wondered.

“Morning, Levi,” Hange quietly greeted him, “looked like you needed that.”

The suspicion left his face as he looked past the cup and saw who brought it. “Yeah. You look like shit, too,” he grumbled.

Hange chuckled briefly before wincing. “Ow. Don’t say funny stuff like that when I’m hung over,” she complained while Nanaba looked amused. Levi, meanwhile, lifted his cup in his unique way and took a deep breath, eyes closed, savoring the aroma before he took his first sip. “Head’s throbbing bad enough as it is.”

He grunted agreement, then set his cup down. “Head feels like a one kilo bag stuffed with ten kilos of shit. Fuck. Haven’t been that drunk since I was a kid…”

“You what?” Hange asked, surprise evident in her tone.

_Fuck, why’d I say that out loud_ , he thought before clarifying, “Wasn’t like that. This guy that looked after me for a while after mom died thought kids falling down drunk were fucking hilarious, that’s all.”

“Oh, damn.”

“Sorry you had to go through that,” an unfamiliar voice added from the other side of Hange. Glancing over, Levi saw a blonde woman with close-cropped hair who was looking at him sympathetically.

“Tch, I don’t need any pity. Shit was a long time ago. Really wasn’t that bad,” he stubbornly insisted before taking another drink.

“It’s not pity,” Nanaba insisted. “No kid should have to go through things like that.”

“Oh, Levi, this is Nanaba,” Hange belatedly introduced them, “she brought us breakfast.” She then pushed one of the bowls over to Levi. “Your tolerance was impressive for someone who doesn’t drink heavy like that normally”

He shrugged at this. “Always been like that. Drinking myself stupid’s fucking rare.”

“I don’t remember you doing anything stupid,” Hange denied while refilling her tea.

Levi swallowed a spoonful of porridge before replying, “Last thing I remember is drinking a stupid amount of shots. Bad shit tends to happen to people doing that where I’m from.” _And I didn’t give a fuck how stupid I was or what happened to me last night._

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that around us,” Hange assured him, “we got you home safe.”

“We? More like Mike got you both home,” Nanaba corrected. “You couldn’t even stand, I had to carry your drunk ass to your bunk after he dropped you off.”

“Hey, did I have my boots?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, you still had them on. And you were really concerned about losing your singing partner when Mike carried you off to the men’s barracks. You called Mike an overgrown sniffy ass and demanded he let you finish your encore,” she informed him with a chuckle.

“My what?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Hange interjected, “we had a nice little duet going.”

“I don’t sing,” Levi insisted. _Not since mom died_ , he silently amended. Kuchel had loved to sing, and her son had shared that love until the morning he had tried to sing her awake with her favorite song and found her cold and unresponsive.

“Maybe it’s too generous to call what the two of you did singing, but you tried. Loudly.”

The raven-haired scout still looked skeptical. “I don’t do stupid shit like that.”

“You’re the one who said we drank ourselves stupid, so why wouldn’t we do something else stupid while we’re at it?” Hange pointed out. “Not like there’s anything wrong with drunk you having a little fun doing stuff sober you thinks is dumb. And I’m pretty sure we did all have fun last night. Right?”

“It wasn’t bad, the parts I remember,” he begrudgingly admitted. “Food was good.”

“So you did have fun.”

He shrugged at this. “Still don’t get why you bothered with me, but… it was kinda nice, yeah.”

“You aren’t a bother,” Hange insisted, picking up on the gratitude he struggled to express. “Aside from the fact that scouts take care of their own and last night was no time for you to be stuck by yourself, you turned out to be good company. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“How about tea instead of vodka, next time?” Levi suggested. “I’d like to be able to walk at the end of the night and wake up without my head feeling like it’s about to bust in half.”

“Yes, please,” Mike suddenly requested from behind them. He was accompanied by three other men; all four were carrying a tray of breakfast and appeared varying degrees of hung over, with Mike appearing the least effected by last night’s binge. “As amusing as your antics got,” he continued as he took the chair on Levi’s other side, “wasn’t much fun carrying two of you when I was drunk enough to mess with my balance. Almost dropped you both more than once.”

“Should’ve been easier, since you had a balanced load,” Hange pointed out.

“Maybe if you’d held still. Or if you hadn’t decided it’d be funny to tickle me after the first time you almost got dropped.”

“You’re ticklish?” Nanaba asked.

“No, but she still tried. Repeatedly. Hey Levi, I see you’ve met Nanaba. These guys with me are Moblit, Gelgar, and Henning, all from squad Erwin. And now you’re with us too, we ran into the squad leader this morning and he gave us the news.” A round of quiet welcomes went around the table at this news. They didn’t sound very enthusiastic, except for Hange, but it was early and almost everyone at the table was dealing with a splitting headache.

“Hey now we have a happy reason to all go drinking! Need to welcome you to the squad properly,” she declared.

“Tea?”

“You don’t want to get drunk two nights in a row, Levi?”

“Yes, tea,” Mike interjected. “We’re training tomorrow morning Hange, don’t think anyone here wants to do that hung over. She nodded thoughtfully at this, remembering the last time she’d run the ODM course hungover, when she had vomited on the first target while cutting its nape out. “And before I forget, you tried leaving these on the bar last night,” he continued as he pulled a pair of goggles from a pocket and handed them over.

“Was wondering where those went. Thanks, Mike.”

“Heh, you lose more of those things in bars than you ever do in the field,” Nanaba teased.

“Brought something for you too, Levi,” Mike stated as he reached into another pocket. “Another old Survey Corps tradition, and one that’s helped me in the past. Normally we do this in the field, but it’s not always possible, so I cut this from his formal jacket,” he continued as he held out a Scout patch. “It’s not quite the same this way, but it’s yours, if you want something to remember him by.”

Levi hesitated a moment, mouth drawn into a thin line, before reaching out and taking the patch. Breakfast continued around him as he stared at the patch, holding tightly to his poker face, before he finally tucked it into a pocket. “I can go get you one of hers after breakfast,” Hange offered. He nodded tightly at this and resumed drinking tea. More members of the squad slowly trickled in over the next several minutes, though Levi paid little attention to the introductions.

“I see you’ve all met our newest squad member,” Erwin stated as he claimed one of the few empty seats left and set his tray down. “Nothing else is changed, today is still a day of rest and we’re still getting back at it tomorrow. Does anyone have anything we need to discuss?” He started on his porridge as he waited to hear if anyone had any issues for the morning squad meeting. After a few moments of silence, he continued, “I’ve been tasked with writing condolence letters for Flagon squad. Levi, do you know of any family who should receive letters about Church or Magnolia?”

“Not unless you want to waste time writing one to me,” came the curt reply, surprising most of the squad.

“Would you like one?” the squad leader offered, unperturbed.

“Tch, what’s the point?” he answered, looking down into his tea.

“Very well. As next of kin, you have a week to go through the deceased’s effects before a cleaning detail disposes of them. If you want some privacy, I’ll be in meetings with Keith all morning and Mike has a key to my office.”

Levi nodded at this suggestion, “May as well get it over with.”

“One last thing on this topic. Before the Commander gives his speech tonight, soldiers who’ve lost someone are allowed to say a few words about the departed. Would you like to say a few words tonight?” Levi answered this with a quick shake of his head, then winced and regretted moving his head so quickly. “Lynne, you were in training with Anne, right? Would you like to speak for her?”

“No, sir.”

“Gelgar, would you like to say anything about Karl?”

“Already said everything I needed to when we toasted to him last night, sir.”

“Is there anyone I missed who’d like to speak?” When nobody spoke up he concluded, ”That’s all for this meeting, then. Everyone, enjoy your breakfast and the rest of the day.”

* * *

A bit over an hour and several pots of tea later, Mike unlocked Erwin’s office and led the way inside. He was followed by Levi, who was now fully dressed and was stubbornly carrying Farlan’s footlocker despite still being badly hung over, as well as Hange who was in equally rough shape and had passed Isabel’s footlocker over to Mike to carry.

“Probably best to just sit on the floor to do this,” she stated as she kicked the door shut behind her. Erwin’s desk was covered in paperwork and stacks of books made the sidetable and couch in his office similarly unusable.

“When’s the last time he cleaned?” Levi wondered, scowling at a dusty windowsill.

“Erwin’s a busy guy,” Hange replied with a shrug.

“Tch, I’m not sitting on that shitty floor unless I sweep it first. Where’s the cleaning closet?”

* * *

Later, after Levi, with some help, had thoroughly swept and dusted Erwin’s office, and then cleaned the windows for good measure, he sat cross-legged on the floor before the footlocker he’d carried in and opened it, showing it to be mostly empty. “Probably gonna be a waste of time, we didn’t exactly have much shit with us when we got dragged up here.”

“Didn’t have anything else important to do,” Mike stated.

“On the bright side, you almost looked like you were having fun cleaning, just now,” Hange observed from her seat on the floor next to Levi.

“It’s relaxing,” he replied as he pulled Farlan’s formal uniform jacket from the locker and checked the pockets. Frowning at the spot the patch was cut from, he asked, “Any way to tell the patches apart after I take both?”

“Here, borrow some of Erwin’s ink,” Mike suggested as he walked to Erwin’s desk to retrieve a quill and ink pot. “Put an initial on the back.” Nodding at the sensible suggestion, Levi wrote an ‘F’ on the back of Farlan’s patch and set it aside to dry before returning to the locker. After removing the spare uniform pants and his military issue shave kit, Levi started on the civilian outfit. In the trouser pockets he found a now-useless key to the house they’d used as a gang headquarters, along with a heavily tarnished piece of thin chain that looked like a broken necklace.

“What’s that?” Hange asked.

Levi shrugged. “He never said. Think it’s from someone he wanted to remember,” he answered, remembering how Farlan would sometimes pull the chain out in quiet moments and look wistfully at it.

“You didn’t ask him?” The ever-curious brunette couldn’t imagine leaving a mystery like that alone.

“I don’t poke into friends’ personal shit. If he’d wanted to talk about it, he’d have told me.”

“Isabel didn’t ask either? She seemed the curious type.”

“He told her he didn’t want to talk about it. She left him alone about it out after that. Hey, those graves that are being set up, would it be alright if I put this on his?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Mike answered. Nodding, Levi tucked the chain into a pocket and began placing everything else back into the locker. After closing it, he opened the next locker. Using the knife from his boot, he carefully removed the patch from the front of Isabel's formal uniform jacket, then slipped the knife away before labeling the patch. He then began checking her pockets and found a small amount of money as well as a folding knife, all of which he pocketed. After pulling out all of the clothing, the only things left were a toothbrush and a small folded piece of paper.

“Did she leave a note?” Hange wondered.

Shrugging, Levi picked it up and began to unfold it. The paper fell from suddenly nerveless fingers when he saw that it was a note, folded around a tattered feather. Leaning forward, Hange saw rather shaky handwriting that declared, ‘Big bro and Farlan helped save this bird. Big bro never lets me down cause he is awesome. We three are gone go to the surface one day like this bird and big bro will be happy and smile cause it’s clean.’

“Hey.” Hange put a hand on Levi’s shoulder. His head was bowed, his eyes tightly closed, hands clenched into fists on his thighs, and his jaw was also tightly clenched; he was clearly fighting to control himself. “It’s alright, let it out.”

“No,” he whispered through clenched teeth.

Mike placed a hand on his other shoulder, feeling the tremendous tension in him, and assured him, “There’s no shame in it. Every time I lose a friend out there, I weep for them. That’s normal.”

“No,” Levi denied with his voice shaking, “I… I don’t do that shit.”

“It’s not healthy to keep all that pressure inside.”

“You’re safe here,” Hange quietly urged him, “with people you can trust. We won’t tell anyone. Let it out.”

“I don’t… fucking… cry…” Levi denied as tears began to roll down his cheeks. “Weak… useless… fucking runts do that shit…”

“No,” Hange denied as she leaned in and pulled his head to her shoulder, “normal people do that.” She wrapped her other arm around his shoulders as Levi continued to struggle against himself. “You’re going to be alright.” Mike leaned in from the other side, wrapping his large arms around both and squeezing tightly.

“Fucking weak… damn runt…”

“You’re about as far from weak as I’ve seen,” Mike told him. “This is normal.”

“This is… fucking awkward…” Levi choked out. “Why… why would you waste so much time on a weak asshole runt?”

“We aren’t,” Hange firmly told him. ”Who told you crying meant you’re weak? Was it that guy you mentioned at breakfast?”

“Taught me how to survive…” Levi was shuddering now. “Beat the weakness out of me so I could thrive, not be a weak little shit like this… Fucking disappointing…”

“No,” Hange repeated. “Maybe that’s what it takes to be a gang boss, but you’re a soldier now. We know loss, you can mourn and nobody in the Survey Corps will look down on you for it. Nobody.”

“You’re still strong,” Mike reassured him, “and we both respect you. Now let go.”

“Surface… so fucking weird…” he managed before the last thread of control snapped and he began to sob into Hange’s shoulder.

“There you go,” she encouraged him, “just like that. You’re doing great, Levi, just let it all out.” Soft encouragement continued in this vein from both her and Mike over the next several minutes as Levi continued to quietly weep. He then sighed deeply after running out of steam.

“That wasn’t so hard, now,” Mike pronounced.

Levi’s muffled voice replied, “Tch, still feel like shit, but now I’m fucking tired too. And can’t move my arms.”

Hange couldn’t help but chuckle at the last bit. “I’m pinned down too.” Mike took the hint and released his bear hug, then sat back to give some space. Hange did likewise and Levi wasted no time before he pulled out a handkerchief and began to wipe his face. “It’s like I said yesterday, healing takes time. It’s a process. Having a good cry won’t magically fix you, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“Fuck. I’ll have to do that shit again?”

“Probably,” Mike answered. “Could take months to work through this, but you aren’t doing it alone.”

“And it’s not just the two of us,” Hange added. “A squads like family. Maybe a dysfunctional family at times, but any one of us would lend you a shoulder next time you need it. We’ll even help you adjust to the weirdness of surface life.”

Levi sighed, still looking embarrassed. He carefully wrapped the note back around the feather and pocketed it as he said, “Not sure that’ll ever happen. Shits so… different up here.” He then began placing Isabel’s clothes back into her locker.

“It’s just gonna take time,” Hange assured him. “But for now, my heads still throbbing, what do you say we get some more tea after dropping these lockers off?”

“Yeah,” Levi agreed as he pocketed the two patches and got back to his feet, “tea’s always good. And thanks, both of you. For everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feedback is welcome. Love it? Hate it? See somewhere I can improve my writing skills? Feel free to let me know.


End file.
